Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Grumpy Mr Fridge

Hello Again Reader,

Mr Fridge had a grumpy lunch time. He had to nip out to buy a picture frame, which he did not get due to no shops having them, that he visited in the newly expanded Livingston Shopping centre, The Elements (http://www.theelementslivingston.co.uk/). It looks nice from the outside but when I walked in I was presented with the below vista :

Now it is the 4th of November, we have just had Halloween and yet to have bonfire night, but everything is made up for Christmas! Bit early? Devalues that special Christmas feeling you get, erm, around Christmas? What a poor show and poor parents! Mr Fridge is going to compose a letter and send to the management. I will appraise you of any reply.

Baa humbug until December.

My next posting will be more 'Too Early For Christmas', no doubt and a possible offensive rant against a certain member of the royal family. Well, I wrote it last week but is outside of my normal postings, but it is my blog and my thoughts. Forward apologies if it offends.

In response to Poirot, If my nose got any bigger I would need a nose-wheelbarrow for it. (God my car repairs are going to cost me sooo much! Oh well, next weekend may see St Mirren go above Hearts inthe SPL . . or not.)

Time for tea.

Marvelouw Mrs Fridge

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge has recovered slightly as Mrs Fridge has been doing some grand and great work building Fridge Junior into a routine. Early to bed after an early feed then a few hours for me. I had a great time top and tailing him ready for his feed and settling for bed. He had a lovely day and slept through the local library's nursery rhymes for parents and babies.

As you can see, he has been auditioning for teletubbies, without the inbuilt tummy TV screen. His talents include, eating, pooing and, between occasional crying, sleeping. He has also just started his smiling and it melts Mr and Mrs Fridge every time.

Thursday, October 30, 2008

Mr Fridge Has Been Busy : Time Has Passed

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge has been remiss in his blog responsibilities and can only blame Fridge Junior! He has been growing and growing so much that he managed to put on 1lb in a matter of a week - which explains his constant demand for food and attention.
Here he is doing some early life dancing.

Mr Fridge also notes Poirot's response and will soon be paying even more through his nose to service and look after Lydia!

I need to post more. Fridge junior now demands my attention!

Thursday, October 16, 2008

How did it get to be Thursday!

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge is amazed that it is Thursday already! Given the lack of sleep that he and Mrs Fridge have been experiencing with Fridge Junior growing, crapping and eating we have spent longer awake than any other week, ever. The best one is my going to bed wakes him up, even when I creep in in the pitch black. I am finding the sofa very comfortable.

Anyway, Mr Fridge noticed that Mad Hearts Fan/Great Mechanic Engineer Paul has a striking resemblance to a certain Hercule Poirot. I took his picture and I will let you decide for yourself.

Hercule Poirot
Mad Hearts Fan Paul
Other similarities include colourful and inventive use of language, getting to the bottom of a tough problem and both have a limited availability of height.
The build up to a coming rant :
Mr Fridge has also been ENRAGED by the Christmas lights going up in Livingston, and probably other places up and down the country too. It is October. By doing this it devalues Christmas, stops it being special, bypasses Halloween and spoils bonfire night. Shops do it to exploit pester power from children, but a council should no better. Keep Christmas for Christmas!!!!

Monday, October 13, 2008

Mr Fridge : Grass and Poo.

Good Evening Reader,

You read me at the end of a Monday and still working away due to my sheer dedication to the job. While I wait for engineer feedback I shall take this opportunity to update the reader my life.

On Saturday I cut the grass for the first time in my life! I have never done it before and as soon as I had built the cutting machine and learnt, quite quickly, that you should not run it over the power cable or wear open toed shoes (well, my nails needed trimmed) I got to work on the front and rear jungles that are Fridge Manor’s gardens. What a job I did! Like many things you do first time, it was absolutely atrocious but I enjoyed it tremendously. The grass was so long that even of giraffe setting the cutting machine was set to was not overly effective and Mr Fridge had to really run over and over it again: the mover even got so clogged up that I had to continuously stop and pick and scoop out the grass (I had learned to unplug it at this point). After an hour or two I was done and it was the worst looking set of lawns that I had ever seen! The organic recycling bin is full to bursting with cut grass, moss and blood from the cutting machine catcher bucket thing and from my raking. The job was so impressively done that a neighbour asked me if Fridge Junior had given us a rough night and that she had not noticed that we had cut the grass. Cheeky neighbour! She obviously thought I looked exhausted and had not noticed that she could see the front of the house again. I am off to look up the dictionary.

From http://www.thefreedictionary.com/
TACT: 1. Acute sensitivity to what is proper and appropriate in dealing with others, including the ability to speak or act without offending.


Now the other fun thing that happened is that on Saturday Mrs Fridge and I had Fridge Junior on the play gym, naked as he was born, to allow his little touch of nappy rash to heal. He has been bathed and cleaned and changed and cleaned again, so he was looking so nice and lovely that I picked him up to hug and kiss. In return my loving child peed on me then crapped through my hand and onto my t-shirt and jeans and, well everything. I ended up washing my clothes and showering! Wee thing! How Mrs Fridge laughed. Mr Fridge laughed the next day when he had his first projectile vomit on Mrs Fridge, over her hand, trouser leg, newspaper and new sofa!

That’s my boy!

Friday, October 10, 2008

Mr Fridge Re-emerges

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge reemerges into the web world and has been chastised by Mrs 4444. Mr Fridge is heartened to see that he has at least one avid reader. Mr Fridge has obliged, but more to finding himself with some time and I intend to keep the world up to date!

Ella and Pirate have been very kind and sent over a lovely present from just right of down under, from New Zealand. It is a Buzzy Bee ready for Fridge Jr (renamed again) to play and drag about him. It is not fair to single out one gift, but that is the furthest travelled. Everyone on Liam's new friends have been sooo generous and kind and we thank everyone who send him gifts and cards and love.

Mr Fridge is also glad of the weekend and he is so looking forward to building all the furniture that was delivered yesterday. His back to work week was busy and in every office he went to I had the first few hours of every day 'lost' to work as loads of very nice fellow Q people asked after Mrs Fridge and Fridge Junior. Not that that was a problem, it just meant that Mr Fridge had the pleasure of showing of all his pictures he has of his son!

Oh! Teas out so I will be back on line again soon!

Night all.

Oh, what a mum Mrs Fridge is! Mr Fridge is very proud and loves her even more!

Monday, September 29, 2008

Ice Boy is a Week Old!

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge has had the most excellent week! Mrs Fridge has been doing a superlative job being a Mother and we have had a few visitors over to meet the new Fridge. Below we see Mr Fridge Dad, or Ice Boy's Granddad, who came on Friday for a hold and a cuddle.

Mr Fridge Brother and Austrianland Partner, Ice Boy Uncle and Aunt, sent over Ice Boy his first political statement T-Shirt! He loved it so much that he managed to 'poo' over the back of it in under an hour! Sorry Austrialand Aunt and Uncle, but he loves his T-Shirt.

Mr and Mrs Fridge would also like to thank all the nice comments and cards and gifts and kindness shown by everyone to us and Little Liam. We are touched and blessed with such a son and friends

Well, since I last put any news in here we have been though a great deal! We moved out of Property Empire and got it all cleaned up ready for our tenants to move in the next day and hopefully rent it for some time yet! We moved into Fridge Manor, just outside of town, in fact, we now live in a village and we are enjoying the quiet life, easy parking and garden. Moving in here was quiet painless with everyone turning up on time and most things fitting through the front door. We are now mostly unpacked but are just waiting for some ordered furniture to arrive to allow us to finish off our move in. Then there was the birth of Ice Boy (promoted from Ice Shelf as he is out and free now!).

Ice Boy has also been having fun peeing on Daddy mid way through nappy changes and also pooing once he has been changed and dressed at 3.30am! He is so lovely. Kissed him to sleep this afternoon.

Okay, Mr Fridge is back on line and posting.

In the Next Post, I reveal where Hecule Poirot has been living recently.

Tuesday, September 23, 2008

Ice Shelf Arrives!!!

Hello Reader!!! Mr and Mrs Fridge are pleased to the arrival of Liam David to the outside world. He was born on 22nd September 2008. Both he and Mrs Fridge are doing great. Mr Fridge has a whole new increased respect towards the female sex and is still in awe of what Mrs Fridge had to go through to in order to bring Liam David into the world.

Mr Fridge is now going to bed and will soon update, over the coming week, of the adventures of the Fridge Family from over the last few weeks.

Night all.

Monday, September 8, 2008


Hello Reader!

Mr Fridge is back on line after a whole horrific day of being off-net!!! Mr Fridge sat down last night to blog away but could not get connected!! Better luck today, fortunately. I ended up watching ‘Antiques Road show’ : that is how frustrated I was.

We visited Mrs Meg and Mrs Gordon who are now 1 day overdue for their baby. Both are well and theirs cannot arrive before Wednesday as Mr Gordon has things to do. And Mrs B had her baby last week. Well done Mrs B – bet you are glad that is out. AND Bulgarian Anna had her baby last week – total labour time was 15 minutes with her baby born on the living room floor. I sooo hope that Ice Shelf does not do that to us! Given the week ahead of me.

Well we are 7 days till B-Day! Expected date is either next Monday or Tuesday and we move to Fridge Manor this Thursday!

Mrs Fridge had a difficult night last night, apparently my fault as when I came to bed I turned the light off and that woke her up. Not sure that is quiet how it happened as I could not get to sleep for last night for her lady sleep noises (that’s snoring to us chaps). I am not sure when she got up but poor thing was up half the night. At least she got some sleep and I had arranged for the new ‘Glasvegas’ CD to arrive in the post for her.

Mr Fridge also got Lydia checked into Maverick’s garage to have her shoes and brakes done and Mr Fridge just happened to mention the football at the weekend (Scotland back to their usual naffness) and off he went! Mr Fridge think Maverick needs to take anger management classes and stop following quality football, and also Hearts FC, or he will bust a blood vessel.

Well done to Shrek and Cat at the weekend for completing the Glasgow half marathon : one had cramp and the other had too many pints the day before.

Mr Fridge is now off to the pub to read some birthing notes and find out what is going to happen.

Oh! OH! Yes Mr Bart in Scandinavia! IKEA do suck (and large ones at that) and not rock! I worry for your mental health, especially after every conversation we have. IMOA! IMOA!

Tuesday, September 2, 2008

Apologies! Busy Fridges!

Hello Reader,

It has been a busy old week again as we prepare for move Phase 2 to Fridge Mansion! A few short weeks and we will be out of Property Empire, which we hope to give news on the rental off very soon.

We have liked living here, in Property Empire, as it is so quiet outside, unlike old flat, and the neighbours are all nice. Parking is a doddle too.

Mr Fridge also has to apologise for lack of posting over the last week -Mrs Fridge and Ice Shelf have been requiring my time and attention.

Here is Mrs Fridge getting ever closer to Ice Shelf fruition!

We are now off to see 'Batman, The Dark Knight' this evening - a nice relaxing treat!

(I also can not get the spell checker to work this evening - I muzt apologize fur mi speling.

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

Tannin Poisoning Alert!!!!

Hello Reader,

Well the weekend there was a normal weekend, first one in quite some time (IKEA still suck - shop elsewhere) and the last for quite some time probably. During our weekend we went through to Glasgow to meet Mr Fridge Dad and then Mrs Fridge to meet her friends for lunch. Mr Fridge Dad had a nice Italian meal in an Italian restaurant in George Square, enjoying traditional fish and chips. (Yes, I know). Mr Fridge Dad was getting ready to go off on holiday with Mr Fridge Uncle and Mr Fridge Aunt, down south to Engerland somewhere. Long drive with an overnight stay to pick up Mr Fridge Aunt. Well the point of this ramble is that Mr Fridge Brother has been concerned for some time about the sheer quantity of tea that Mr Fridge Dad drinks and was worried that he may be giving himself tannin poisoning! Well Mr Fridge Brother, you can see from the picture below that you have nothing to worry about. Mr Fridge Dad takes his tea so weak and tea-less that he is effectively drinking hot milk. In the picture it is soooooo weak that only the bubbles on the froth of the milk show that there is actually something in the cup at all : the tea bag was not infused, no. It merely stood nearby and looked at the pot.

If you look carefully you will see Mr Fridge in the teapot.

Mrs Fridge Housewife has been doing a marvelous job getting Property Empire ready for letting and after less than a day's advertising the first person is coming for a viewing tomorrow! Wish us well! Well done Mrs Fridge! What a wife!

Last night we went on a tour round the maternity department in the hospital we hope to have Ice Shelf in. Just like the first visit to the antenatal classes, it makes it all the more real and for only the second time in years and years I felt nervous but Mrs Fridge seemed nice and calm and the visit was very helpful and useful.

3 weeks to go. I am an expectant father with one more house move to go.

Thursday, August 21, 2008

Mr Fridge Normal Day

Hello Reader,

A normal day today! I know this as I had sandwiches with me. I went to work, home and no packing, unpacking, cleaning or anything like that. In fact Mrs Fridge is on maternity leave so I have a housewife to come home to for the next coming months. I came home to a tidy flat, food ready, beer in glass and her standing dutifully by the dining table in nice clothes and hands clasped expectantly in front of her.

That said, going to work was not so much fun today. The temporary move has added a few city centre miles onto my route (which was fine Mon-Wed as I was in very early) but today the schools went back and it took me 1 hour 15 minutes to get in due to fat parents driving their equally fat kids to school in their fat carrying 4x4s and therefore clogging up the arteries of Edinburgh, which is not helped by a stupid amount of road works while we have new infrastructure fitted to make way for our new tram system.

Today I received the most stoopid letter I have seen in ages. (Not since I was told I was overcharged by Costco on my £41.98 purchase as it should have been £41.98) My bank sent me a letter saying. 'Thank you for letting us know that you have changed your address.'

They sent it to the old address.

One has to assume it is automated. For those who are worried about us being taken over and dominated and ruled by sentient computing machines need not worry. When letters like that from my bank, and Costco, are sent out then all we need to worry about is the Space Muppets that code them up and design the systems. At worst we would by ruled by officious bureaucrats who ignore common sense and what the population need or want. Hold on . . . it's too late . . . our political leaders are like that . . . (except for the SNP Scottish Government in Scotland, of course! Phew! Close one - just saved myself from an earful from Mr Fridge Dad on Saturday).

Oh! Hello to new reader, Huw, the cricket plank. Thanks for adding me and hope the journey back home went smoothly!

Booby - I have no contact me page on this . . . yet. You have my email. Had your number 2 child yet?

Monday, August 18, 2008

Stage One Move Completed! IKEA REALLY SUCK!

Hello Reader!

(Just in case, the following is my opinion of a bad service).

What a week it was last week! We had packing up of our lives, Ikea doing their level best to provide poor service and leave a pregnant woman to sit on the floor for a day! (Ikea are you reading this? You need to do work on the 'after the customer has handed over the money service' service). We had arranged a delivery of furniture to Property Empire on Thursday morning so I could build it all and Property Empire be ready for Mrs Fridge and Ice Shelf to move in and sit down and relax on Friday. Well, Ikea did not show or call: After many calls they said they would not deliver (one item on list so they do not deliver, erm . . . hold on . . . on the contract it states that they will deliver as much as they have in stock!) Mr Fridge was mad in the furious sense of the word. They said it would now be Friday at 1pm, as a favour mind. Mrs Fridge, had to sit on a yoga mat with 4 cushions waiting for then not to show up on Friday while Mr Fridge worked with our removal company to empty old flat and storage facility. Ikea still did not turn up. Long story slightly shorter, they turned up on Friday at 8pm! 8PM!!! Even then the furniture was dumped in the flat and outside the front door. Once the sofa was turned, so as not to face the wall (cheers guys - you were useless) we found there was a missing cushion on the sofa!

So in summary, Ikea broke delivery agreement, did not inform, lied to me twice (that was you Murray - you told me it was on the van - Laura in customer services told me it was loaded onto the van after 15:30!) and then turned up late and literally dumped the stuff on us! Mr Fridge finished making the bed at 10:30pm and we then had to eat carry out food 11pm!

IKEA! You reading this? It seems that you are happy to take the money but your after sales service sucks and you are happy to let 8 month pregnant ladies sit on the floor! 2 days late in delivery.

So far I have the delivery and picking fee back, when I drove into to pick up the missing sofa cushion. I will keep you updated.


Mrs Fridge Mum did an excellent job helping us clean old flat and Mrs Fridge Dad was great at helping us move every day living stuff to Property Empire. Thanks to you both! Mrs Fridge was a lady soldier throughout the whole thing and kept my angry spirit from becoming a berserk fit.

Sunday was Mr and Mrs Millars (her of swishing hair) son's first birthday and all had prepared an amazing buffet! Great party and cannie believe the wee man is a year already!

Time for me to put the oven on for our tea tonight (Haggis, cabbage and tatties).

Mr Non-Angry Fridge will return.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Changing Times if Fridge Life

Hello Reader!

A hello there to Kathy K in the USA! Got your comment Kathy - good to hear form you and I saw your mail today (even though I am out the office - sad, I know). Glad you looking after yourself and planing for the professional future! Good to hear from you. Hugs back over the Atlantic.

Mr Fridge Dad and Mr Fridge Aunt are away on a Jaunt to rest and recuperate in an ooohh so posh seaside spa, don't you know! Relaxing and spoke to them both and they sounded good. Mr Fridge Aunt even has an Irish coffee in a glass with a handle. I suggested she have another . . . with less coffee. She's a truly international lady: half Irish, half Scottish and with an Engerlish accent.

Well in the Fridge household it has been a busy old day! We are packing up all our stuff into boxes to go into storage and it is amazing just how much one (okay two) can distribute within a small one bedroom flat. Mrs Fridge has done a great job, but have had to make sure she took it easy. We went out for lunch and she fell asleep watching the Olympics.

Tomorrow is delivery of furniture to property empire ready for us to move in on Friday! I will be four days short of exactly seven years of living here. It does and does not feel like it.

That bit above the window finally got painted.

Just before I go for the evening, some more hair swishing.

Monday, August 11, 2008

Extraganavanza 2008

Hello Reader!

It has been a very enjoyable weekend and then a very busy weekend with the continuation of our packing for the coming Friday move!

Saturday saw a wonderful long lie and then getting ready for our guests to arrive ready for the Extraganavanza 2008 : The Fringe Festival Party!

We had bought some extra fizzy wine, champagne and cava, and some beer for our guests : other than Mrs Fridge who can not yet let Ice Shelf get tipsy yet. We still have it as all our guests were very kind and brought along lots themselves, so as dictated to by etiquette, it was polite to open and drink it first. Thank you all.

After a few drinks we headed into town to see our first show : Isy Sutty. She had her show in a portocabin so on the humid wet day, it was not the most comfortable but that is the nature of the Festival - you never know where or what you will get. Mrs Fridge did very well and I passed along the line the restaurant menu (pre-ordered food for the 12 of us) for her to fan herself with. Isy was a character comedian and seemed almost too much or too act-ty in her natural persona for the show. I think she appealed to the female audience more as I only heard female laughs, except James when he found a recipe very funny : beef tomato hollowed out, egg put inside it and cooked in the oven for 30 minutes (I dunno). Still, not a chore and an enjoyable show with comedy, introspection, songs with no clock watchers in the 60 strong audience. Still, I felt she needed some therapy.

Next on for tapas food and hair swishing from Mrs Lynn!

After that Mrs Fridge has to head off home again so not as to be too tired or worn out, but only after some more hair swishing.

After a few missed calls with each other and text and voice mails so that we know that Mrs Fridge was home safe and sound then we went into see Nina Conti. Very funny and with a talking monkey (on the end of her hand) and she fully exploited her father, Tom Conti, in a video where he gives full permission to exploit and ridicule him. Actually very funny. A well put together show that had belly laughs throughout the show.

After that there was another photo opportunity (no hair swishing this time).

Then on for more beers, checks on Mrs Fridge and beers. A few bars later and we were treated to some good singing, which I will need to post as a video after some very careful editing. Thanks, James.

Home by train then bed. Sunday was Olympics and then packing!

Off to relax more as Ice Shelf has just treated me to some Mrs Fridge tummy kicking!

Night all.

Friday, August 8, 2008

Mr Fridge London Adventure

Happy Friday Reader,

Mr Fridge has been away for a few days on a business trip down to London Town. Well not quiet London, he was in Bracknell, which is a dreadful place - bit like the place the sitcom, 'The Office' is set. All office blocks, car parks and no real town centre, character or heart. Bit like Livingston. Good folk in the office though and after some work we had a good night out in nearby Wokingham, sampling warm local ales and traditional English fair: Thai food.

I had my first experience with Heathrow's Terminal 5 - very nice building and well organised , although I was careful not to have any luggage to check in. Turns out T5 had its problems when real luggage came through - all the testing was done with empty test luggage. When real luggage came on the conveyor belts they had not calculated the weight and how that would affect the conveyor speed so threw the whole thing off. Idiots. BA business lounge had a nice 15 year old Glenlivet aged in a French brandy cask so that more that made up for that for me.

Tomorrow is the Annual EXTRAGANAVANZA DAY 2008! Lots of friends through, sans children, to drink fizzy wine and take in a couple of Edinburgh Fringe shows interrupted continuously by drinks, food and some drinks. We have Mr and Mrs Millar, The Sids, The To Be Married People, Mizz Don't mention Rangers being dumped of out Europe, Mrs Fridge, Mr Fridge, and Mz 'drives 200 metres to work'. Looking forward to it. I love the festival!!!!

Sleep well.

Tuesday, August 5, 2008

Ice Shelf News

Second Happy Tuesday Reader!

Mrs Fridge was at the an appointment with the midwife today and Ice Shelf got an excellent bill of health : perfect size, now in the right position, good strong heartbeat, and Mrs Fridge was just as healthy too.

Mr Fridge is very happy.

Mrs Fridge is Hair Slated!

Happy Tuesday Reader,

Mr Fridge has been nothing short of slated for having slightly longer than normal hair. In fact, Ian B comments that "Fridge's hair takes 6 hours to dry - that's why he was being careful - Ian B :o)". Now it may actually take not too far off that to dry, but how does he know!?!?!? Mr Fridge will have to remember this when Ian B comes out of retirement again to play football!

Here he is reshaping his face in an effort to disguise himself.

Monday, August 4, 2008

Monday Post

Hello Reader,

If you thought that I had a rant last week when I described the marvelous attitude of our proud and hard working public sector workers then think again! I was truly humbled today by Maverick.

Maverick owns and works the independent garage we go to in Livingston and he does a great job with William and Lydia, not only in engineering but also in pricing, despite some generally dodgy chat. I usually have to pay more if my jokes are bad and if he remembers I am a St Mirren fan.

Anyway, I was humbled by the quality, quantity and sheer passion of his rant! I don't know if it was a passion that surfaced, a raw nerve that I touched or if he is equally as delusional as the Hearts owner. All that I did was humorously suggest that Hearts were going through a good patch, their best in quiet a while in fact : they won a friendly home game, so that's one in a row, and have so far managed to keep a manager for nearly 2 weeks now. There was even a rumour that he picked the team! Maverick went off on one, quoting Romananov and how he was right about the Larg's mafia, talent not being developed in Scotland and the bias against Hearts' different path. "Hearts have never been in such a great position!" I was clearly foolish to point out that Hearts are £20 odd million in debt, have a team full of Lithuanians and Nigerians and finished in the bot om six for the first time in years. My ears still hurt.

Well done though, a true fan is a rare thing and Maverick certianly is!

Fortunately Maverick is off on a holiday this week, which is a good thing as he clearly has some need of rest and relaxation. Have a good holiday, Maverick!

Mrs Fridge continues to blossom and from this picture you can see she is pregggggnannnt! Bless, she is doing such a good job and looking great but Ice Shelf, who has been busy kicking, elbowing and pushing her/his/his/her bottom out, is truly getting ready for his/her/her/his debut in 6 weeks time.

Tuesday, July 29, 2008


Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge was, this evening, so annoyed at public service (ahem) from Parcel Force. The XBox has been repaired and dispatched back and a delivery card put through my door with a map to the depot to pick it up. Seeing is is just off my road on the way home from work I decided to drop in and pick it up. Unfortunately the weather was not good and the rain was sooo heavy that when I got to the car park that I decided to drive in the depot main delivery door, the one where Parcel Force's vans and lorries drive in to the huge depot building. I got out the car and interrupted the 3 staff who were intensly looking out at the rain fall.

"Can I help you?" the youngest says , turning his head and not even bothering to take his hands out of his pocket.
"Yes, I have a package to pick up." I replied, holding out my delivery card. He ignores it and replies,
"You can't park there."
"I know, but seeing as the rain is torrential and I did not want to get soaked in the 10 metre walk from the parking to here I decided to make use of the vast amounts of empty space in here. Can I have my package?" still holding out my delivery card. The young man, nay boy, still ignores my card.
"You can't park there." repeats the broken record.
"Well," I sigh, "it looks like I have anyway. Can I have my package and I can leave" then lifting the card to his his eye level, just in case the effort in lowering his eyes was too much for this obviously overworked public sector worker.
"You need to go to the customer services office, outside up there on the right. You can't park there."

The rain is even heavier. I get in Lydia, reverse out and drive the little bit up to park as close as I could to the customer (un)services door. The rain is so heavy that the wipers are having difficulty clearing off the rain on maximum wipe settings. I get out and in the 5 metres to the door I get very wet. Once inside I ring the buzzer for service and, suprise suprise, no-one comes, although I can here them talking about the rain. I count to 60 in my head then push the buzzer again. I count to about 40 in my head and then someone arrives to deal with the 'customer'. I let go of the buzzer. The server is the exact same person who was so captivated by the rain in the first place. Cheeky get says, "Can I help you?"

I have ran out of patience, although my anger is fine. I am calm.
"Yes you can hopefully. Maybe. If it is okay to interuppt your rain watching, you know I have a package to pick up."
He actualy smirks as he takes my delivery card. "The bad news is that it has been left in your local post office to pick up. Look it says so here. Can ye 'no read?". Arsehole points to a scribble on the back of the card.
"I can read." I reply, "Evidently you delivery man cannot write. That is of no use to me. I shall let you get back to your rain watching."
I leave.

In summary, they gave me a card with a map, opening times and a scribble. Parcel Force, you suck. I am a believer that some things should be be run by the nation but I think some private company ethics need to be brought in, such as customer service, if you don;t do your job then eventually you will be out.

When did I become such a moan? Or perhaps, in younger years I was just too passive and accepted bad service, trying to see the other side, like what it must be like to work there but I now believe that good service gets good customers. National service that's what they need! A public flogging perhaps?

Monday, July 28, 2008

Mrs Dobber Accolade!

Hello Reader,

Top Chap News tonight! Someone made comment to me that Mrs Dobber has a top and beautiful smile AND what's more the compliment came from another wimin!!!! Alas and alack, the other lady said it with her professional eye as a photographer. Sooo, perhaps Mrs Dobber should take up a modeling position as a smiling lady?

On Ice Shelf news, we spent half the weekend buying first things for baby, new born nappies, breast feeding things, some baby clothes (colour a secret - good try Sarah!) erm and other things . . .

Last Wednesday was a curry night with some old work mates and still friends. It was in one of those places where you bring your own beer and wine, but poor Mrs D to Be got a telling off from one of the waiters for opening her own Pepsie (other soft drinks are available) and the drinking it! No tip for them, especially as they brought us the bill without us asking : just cause they wanted to shut!!!

Below you will see Mr Dobber taking up Bigger Al's unique and generous offer his of his bottle openign skills.

Now why am I suddenly thinking of Penfold from Dangermouse. . . .

Tuesday, July 22, 2008

Tuesday Update

Hello Reader,

AngryIrishPerson Mrs Darcy is now appeased and a close one it was too! I would never wish to err on the wrong side of fast talking, quick drinking Mrs Darcy again!

Mrs Fridge and Ice Shelf have abandoned me to fend for myself this evening whilst she and Mrs Dobber, see Mr and Mrs Dobber above, wine (alcohol free for Mrs Fridge) and dine and no doubt chat away - I expect her back at 8pm but not really.

The picture here is not from a party or anything similar. Sadly, Mr and Mrs Dobber firmly believe that they are descendants of the Gnome folk (cousins of the faerie folk, Mr Colin Dobber's side at least). They spend their Sunday afternoons sitting round a small garden pond trying to catch goldfish. Their home motto is "Gnome is where the heart is".

Mrs Fridge was at the midwife's this afternoon and again Ice Shelf has a healthy heartbeat and she felt the side of baby's head! I can't wait for her to come home so I can pick out the same body part through the hugeness of her tummy. (The rest of her is in normal perfect and good shape).

Mr Fridge forgot that Cat phoned at the weekend to see how we were doing. He had taken his little one out for a walk in her pushchair to see if she would fall asleep. Do I have this to look forward to?

Monday, July 21, 2008

Mr Fridge Update

Hello Reader!

Mr Fridge has had a busy week and a few days! He also got a furious Irish row from Mrs Darcy for no updates on the time she was off at a wedding and a London 4 day party! I am duly chastised and now provide an update as to the last week or two!

Well, here is Mrs Fridge. As you can see there is considerable growth in Ice Burg and I am considering an upgrade to an Ice Shelf. In fact I just have. Here is Mrs Fridge and Ice Shelf.

Well it has been a really busy few week and a bit, out side of work, we have sold our residence, decided to take the Property Empire of the market and rent it out AND we have all but bought a new Fridge Manor, out of Edinburgh and right on the edge of central belt civilisation! We have a few legal things to wrap up and then we are ready - with a move to Property Empire for 3 weeks before we move to Fridge Manor. A busy few months are ahead and I still have to organise the Extranganavaza 2008 yet (a select Edinburgh Fringe Festival Night Out).

Anyways - we had an Ikea trip at the weekend and Mrs Fridge was a little bit stressed and, bless her, dare I say hormonal? I had just returned from hunting and gathering from an early Saturday rise and was enjoying the funny man on the trampoline on children's BBC but we had to leave instantly to get to Ikea. I have no idea if he ever made it off the trampoline or not. (I may get into trouble if she reads this now) It was almost as if all her periods from the last seven months had caught up and then presented themselves in one big stress. Poor thing.

Just before I sign off I saw the trailer for the new X-Files film and nearly laughed my sock off! Billy Connelly as a psychic preacher! Sorry Billy - you had better do some good acting for 5.5 million Scots to see your film character and not the funny man that makes us laugh so much. What a tough and happy reputation and legacy that is. To be fair, I don't think most of the global box office take will come from Scotland anyway.

Here is the link : http://www.xfiles.com/ (Press play to watch on web site)

Friday, July 11, 2008

Sad News For Mr Fridge! (Nothing serious)

Hello Reader,

The Fridges have had a busy week: As we work away Mrs Fridge starts to look towards the start of her maternity leave and we have been out looking for a nice house to live in! It's a tough job going round and looking at other peoples' houses but we are narrowing the field down and hope to make a a decision soon. We shall see what happens.

Anyway, the sad news is that Mr Fridge has found that his Xbox 360 has the red lights of death! Yes - his Xbox 360 is broken! I registered for online help but they are shut at 11:30 at night. What am I do to when Mrs Fridge has gone to bed!!?!?!?!? Poor Mr Fridge. I will try again tomorrow.

Anyway, last week I meant to say that I heard something that still makes me smile. Mrs Fridge said, "I'm sorry. You're right." Soon after I came round and picked myself up from the floor I realised that the pregnancy is having a clearly huge hormonal impact on poor Mrs Fridge. Once Ice Berg melts out of her then I am sure normal (new) service will be resumed.

Monday, July 7, 2008

News Flash! Mr Fridge Sympathy Pregnancy!

Busy Week for the Fridges!

Hello Readers!

The Fridges have a had a busy week since last entry. Work, pregnant wimin yoga classes, gym (at last), property empire work, baby sitting and looking after Mrs Fridge! Poor thing had 3 days off work not very well and with a knee problem and not being well. I think she should get a crutch like Carrie from ER (about 5 years ago I think). It would take some of the pressure off of her problem knee, guarantee her a seat ANYWHERE and it is also a great conversion piece! We shall see as she has a physio appointment to make and I hope she gets the Cool Crutch.

Mr Paul the mechanic added a comment about me diving a hairdressers' car! Hairdresser! How would he know as his hair cut is a trip to the French Polishers'! To make matters worse, he's a Hearts fan.

On Saturday we went through to see Mr Fridge Dad and Mr Fridge Aunt/Dad's Sister Sister and their friend Mary De Wolfe after their successful tour of the Highlands and Largs. Good weather and well sunned faces greeted us on our arrival. Mary De Wolfe is a cool woman as she is the first other person I have heard/admit to that when a packet of Jaffa Cakes is opened then entire packet has to be eaten.

Here they are :From Left to Right : Mr Fridge Dad, Mrs Fridge (Ice Berg Inset), Aunt Fridge and Mary De Wolfe.

Monday, June 30, 2008

Mrs Fridge Spoiler!

Hello Reader!

A Good day for Andy Murry at Wimbledon making it into the final 16. The excitement of the game had Mrs Fridge on the edge of her seat with near baby dropping excitement! I had to keep an eye on the floor in case she got so excited that her waters would break, cascading and gushing down onto our (clean) floor. Andy won and happily Ice Berg stayed inside safe and sound.

Mr Fridge had two (TWO! YES TWO! NOT ONE!) spoilers given to him for things he was watching on the TV at the weekend. I was watching Spooks, that excellent BBC 1 spy drama, which I had never seen before, which was obvious since I had rented them and said I had not seen them. As the episode started,

"Oh, she dies in the end. I remember this." she said.

"Oh well, I'll see how it pans out . . . only 59 minutes of the 60 minute episode to go." I had to sadly reply.

Next day, on the Sunday, I put on Noel Coward's 'Brief Encounter' which I recorded at Christmas from Film 4. Five minutes into the film,

"Oh, she has just tried to kill herself, I remember that".

Mrs Fridge remembered the program and the film and that demonstrates sharp memory and quick recall, but she could not bloody remember that I had not seen them! Oh well.

Anyways, here is a picture of lovely Mrs Fridge and Ice Berg.

Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Baby Beat!

Hello Reader!

Mr Fridge was a hat trick hero at football tonight! Not done that in such a long time that Mr Fridge suspects that other players must have been tired today! Maybe not, maybe my post-retirement fitness is returning and I have top skills? Maybe.Ahem . . . Anyways, Mr Fridge is totally knackered this evening after his sporting heroics! Enough about me on MY blog.

Yesterday, Mr and Mrs Fridge were at the midwife and everything seems to be fine and healthy still with Ice Berg in good, if not enormous, shape. I also used my phone to record the sound of the heartbeat which is strong and regular and makes Daddy Fridge and Mummy Fridge very happy indeed. Mr Fridge has been playing the sound back to loads of people, even if they don't want to hear it but I am sure their lives are enriched by hearing it. If not then they should be! It is our Ice Berg after all!

In the evening it was prenatal class and we learned about breast feeding. You wimin out there are such clever people doing all that stuff that makes it all possible. I am so glad I am a male.

Poor Mrs Fridge has a big BIG bump in front of her: When she laughs Ice Berg changes shape and Mrs Fridge tummy changes shape leaving a baby mound at the front and her belly button goes into real danger of becoming an outy! What a horrible thing to happen to someone- a hole adult life of innies and then an outy belly button appears! It is quiet a difficult for me, having to see it now and again. I may have to buy corn plasters for Mrs Fridge to put over it, even if to help stop the joggers nipple effect!

Family news:
  • Looks like Mr Fridge brother won 2 euro on his office sweepstakes for a Germany win in tonight's game in Euro 2008. Well done him!
  • Mrs Fridge thinks that The Turkish Number 9 in tonight's game looks like Mr Fridge Brother. Hmmm . . apart from the lack of hair, I failed to see the similarity.
  • Mr Fridge Dad, Mr Fridge Uncle and Mr Fridge Aunt all meeting up this weekend and go on a tour of the Highlands of Scotland! They start of in Largs . . . erm . . the Highlands must start the day after. Enjoy that one! Mr and Mrs Fridge travel through to See Mr Fridge Aunt when they get back to Mr Fridge headquarters flat.
Mrs Fridge is off to bed so Mr Fridge is off to tuck her in and talk to Ice Berg and feel Ice Bergs kicks and pushes as she/he/she/he (which one is it?) get comfortable.

Oh, stop reading this Dorothy and get back to work!!!!

Monday, June 23, 2008

Ice Berg Conveyance Purchase

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridgehair hopes you had a good weekend.

Over the sleeptastic weekend Mr and Mrs Fridge purchased a pram for the September due Ice Berg! It was traumatic for Mr Fridge as his hay fever tablet had made him drowsy, even docile perhaps, while we picked colours : last minute change to our original blue combination to black and red on the basis that a bright colour will stimulate. I put it down to me being on drugs.

We test drove it through and out the department shop, under escort of the sales assistant, to make sure if it would fit in the boot of William (Mrs Fridge's car). As we strolled though the floors we noticed lots of other mother's pushing their own Ice Bergs and Cubes about in the buggies and they all took a sneaky look back so they could compare their child against ours. They did look a little surprised to see we where pushing a price tag and packaging about.

We have a Bugaboo Chameleon! Ohhh . . Mrs Fridge is serving tea! I have to publish this on first draft and without full humour review. . . .

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Interesting Update on Mrs Fridge Observations

Good Evening Reader!

Mrs Fridge has been noticing the differences in life between not being with child and now, hugely pregnant. She had a think then put the big ones down in words, summarised them and I then pasted them below.

Well, I say the above but actually, if truth be told, I have plagiarised them from an email sent to me, by equally as pregnant Mrs Barnes at FridgeWorkOffice, but it is more entertaining to say that Mrs Fridge came up with them.

  • You get cashiers at the supermarket apologising for the wait because apparently you looked like you were about to give birth in the queue!
  • People ask "Are you sure you have only got the one in there!?" (We get this a lot!)
  • You have to swing your knickers like a game of hoopla to get them around your first leg then become a contortionist to get your other leg in them.
  • You have fantastic boobs which are unfortunately out done by your stomach.
  • People smile at you as if you are from another planet.
  • You want to strangle your friends/Mr Fridge who discuss there boozy nights out around you. (last Friday to be specific)
  • When you have to take you pants off to see what colour they are!
  • When you have two options, either paint your toes or breathe!
  • When you think your going to sneeze and you cross your legs instead of grabbing a tissue!
  • You cant walk past a pushchair without wondering if that's the one you should have bought.

Actually, the last one about the pushchairs is very accurate. We have decided the one, and probably the colour, of the pram pushchair thing we want and spend much of our out-together-time in town constantly looking at other kids hoping the will be as cute or not as ugly or annoying, but especially seeing how other parents are getting on with their prams/chair things. For some reason none come with built in stereos or beer chillers.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Friday Update on a Tuesday

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge neglected to say that he was out of Friday evening with Mr Brian, Mr Dobber and Mr HowmanytimescanyouleavethesamejobandisunawareheisaHarryHilllookalike. They had a pleasureable evening taking the pi . . . erm gently pulling each others' legs, consuming beverages, watching Euro 2008 footy and wondering why Mr Dobber was waiting outside the pub he said he would be in at 5pm. Mr HowmanytimescanyouleavethesamejobandisunawareheisaHarryHilllookalike turned up late as he was working late for his new manager, Mr Booby. Mr Booby was due to be out but Pink Scooter Boy (yes, he had a scooter and his Mum bought him a pink one a few years ago!) was not allowed out, or so he says, but to be fair he has child number 2 due soon so he has to be flexible I guess.

Anyone fancy attempt 2 in July?

Time for tea.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Back to Work Monday!

Hello Reader,

Mr Fridge is back in his groove and will be updating more often with his funky blog!!!! (Clearly I am not a honky!).

Well what has been happening, I am sure I hear you say? Well the really bad news was that after a long week off (not a short one) Mr and Mrs Fridge both returned back to work! The alarm clocks were switched back on, smarter clothes were dug out the cupboard and I had to shave before lunch time!!!! I had checked on Saturday night that we had not won the lottery, which we had not. That said the luck was in the Fridge family as Mr Fridge Dad won 2 separate lotteries and his total was in 2 figures! Well done Mr Fridge Dad! Good news after the not so good news on the property market front.

Mr and Mrs Fridge also got a message from the Canadian Green's, formally of here, and they are doing well and are also expecting in October!!! Congratulations to them and we wish them the best too! I am sooooooo pleased for the Canadian Greens!!!! We will mail you now we have your mail address again!

Mr Fridge also found a message from USofA-rian Kathy K in his work email!! Good to hear from her too - she is a cool and top international artist! I shall put her web site address up once I can find it or she is kind enough to remind me of it! Good to hear form you again Kathy K! I will reply to your mail very soon indeed (I think I have a conference call tomorrow so will do then).

Mrs Fridge continues to do well and is currently off at her pregnancy yoga class keeping both her and Ice Berg fit and well and healthy. Every night we sit on the sofa and feel and watch for Ice Berg’s kicks, punches, bum pushes and head butts! Is such an amazing feeling and sensation and I can not begin to imagine what it must feel like carrying that and having the privilege of feeling that all the time!!

OH! And on Sunday Irish Jen and Mick and loads of other chaps were over on a mini Karate tour from Dublin (I could not attend any of Frank's classes as I have a property empire to sell :o(
Irish Jen and Mick and the other chaps were in good form and looked well and good to catch up on them all! I even heard a great joke about a ballerina and saw some 'interesting' pictures showing that Aliens are clearly among us! The rest of the jokes were useless.

Now that today's work is done I can relax and hope that one day I can have an outdoor hot tub of my own to lift and reinvigorate my tired body and brain after a hard days work. I have included a picture giving a great example of its rejuvenating properties. Just before I got into the hot tub I had ran a marathon through the Engerlish Lakes District Hills (cannie really call them mountains), swan across Lake Windermere and then a heavy Karate Session!

Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Greetings From Holiday Land!

Hello Reader!

We greet you from Engerland where we are inspecting the state of Hadrian's wall. The Ancient Romans built it for security reasons, but we are still trying to work out to whose benefit.

Here we can see Mrs Fridge and Ice Berg on top of what is left of the wall and you can see it in the back ground on the hill top behind.

The weather has been great and the four poster bed with outside hot tub has been very enjoyable. Even though it is a short break we have been busy at ancient Roman ruins, Hadrian's wall, lake side towns full of pensioners with beige and light blue blousons, hired a small boat which we drove round Lake Windiemere, played crazy golf (Mrs Fridge soundly beat me) and visited every public toilet (poor Mrs Fridge). It feels like we have walked a million miles (maybe just 2 or 3 then).

Time to soak in the hot tub again I think.

Saturday, June 7, 2008

Saturday News

Hello Reader,

The time has passed so quickly again!! Mr Fridge has been so busy at work and with Mrs Fridge and Ice Berg that he has selflessly not been able to update his blog! Apologies. Mr Fridge will endeavour to update more often (after the coming week as he will be on holiday).

Well, on Wednesday, after Mr Fridge had been playing football and was relaxing on the bed, Mrs Fridge and Ice Berg came in for a cuddle and a chat. As we chatted and joked she then commented, 'Wow! You have really quick reactions!" A fair enough comment especially after years of top karate training with a top instructor and also being raised the youngest of 3 in the Fridge family. The reason that she said what she said was that while I was relaxing, or should I say being lulled into a false sense of security, she was doing the preening thing and looking at my face, when she suddenly and, if I do say so, rather viciously, pulled out what she thought was an overly long and errant nasal hair! OUCH! Sneezes! Runny eyes! And it was one from right on the edge of the tunnel exit! I still cannot sleep to comfortably but the sense of trust is returning!

Time for a beer.

Monday, June 2, 2008


Hello Reader!

I come to you with exciting news that Ice Cube has been kicking, elbowing and pushing its bum out big time and often. It is like a skin earth quake!

Anyway, Ice Cube has grown so much that she/he has been promoted to Iceberg, following with his/her growth. Poor Mrs Fridge has to carry that about and he/she is only going to get bigger. I hope the summer is not going to be too hot.

On the more good news front : Mr Fridge Dad looks to have sold his house and looks to be buying a posh res accommodation by the sea on other side of the country.

On the less exciting but still good news, Mr Fridge brother has received his box of DVDs with British TV programs that I think he would like arrived safely in Austrialand. Mr Frige Brother's Partner, Setanta C, got some mini-cream eggs.

On the bad news front, hardly been able to train at Karate recently so missing that, but I shall get back into it soon.

Mr Fridge hopes that all his Aunts and Uncles and cousins are all in good news mode today.

Time for bed soon.

Good night.

How quick has the last week been?

Hello Reader,

Well! Mr Fridge cannot believe what has been happening in the last week! It was 6 days ago I last posted! Where has the time gone, I am sure I hear you ask.

In response Mr Fridge can claim to be well travelled, worked and ‘watered’ shall we say? The last blog entry was made from a hotel room in Dublin last week; yes Mr Fridge had left the country and gone to afar shores in the interest of work. I was there Tuesday and flew home on Friday. For the first time I was not looking forward to being away from home, I usually enjoy a good trip, especially this time as I was leaving Mrs Fridge and Ice Cube all alone! I was glad to get home and see Mrs Fridge and Ice Cube are well.

Anyway work was good and it was nice to put faces to names and voices, even if I did not recognise one person in particular as I had last seen Mrs 4444 for at least two years. Anyway, she had dark hair then and not the blond stuff she has now! I was embarrassed to say the least, but I hope she forgave me. Thursday night was very good as we went out en masse to celebrate 30 Year Old Man’s birthday! It was a good night and I even danced (from about 2am). I got back to the hotel about 3am and the staff thought I looked a bit tired (was careful what I was drinking, no worries there Reader) so cancelled my alarm call, which made matters worse as my mobile discharged during my sleep so no alarm call!! I DO NOT like sleeping in, not since I left my teens anyway.

The weekend was good and we had Mrs Fridge’s parents over to celebrate Mrs Fridge’s Dad’s birthday. It was a gloriously sunny and warm day on Saturday so we took them to the ‘Taste of Edinburgh’ on Sunday, when it pissed down all day: Despite the cold, the wet and the ever muddying ground the food and whisky was good and they seemed to enjoy the day.

Property Empire had no visitors but I have a viewing by appointment this week so hopefully they will buy.

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Mr Fridge Update

Hello Reader!

At the weekend we had Mr and Mrs Dobber and Mrs D to Be and Mr P (Mrs D to Be will be Mrs P next year). We had a a nice meal at Chop Chop Chinese Restaurant and then back to ours to play board gaes and to consume the beer (Mr and Mrs Dobber and Mr Fridge), White wine (Mr P), alcohol free wine (Mrs Fridge and Ice Cube) and an incredible amount of Smirnoff Ice (Mrs D to Be)! We played 'Articulate', with Mrs Dobber restraining herself most admirably when it came to the spirit and passion of the game. Top marks to Mr Dobber and Mr Fridge when Mr Dobber described, " An animal that lives in a field", Mr Fridge replied, "Crocodile" and he was correct!!! Stunning! Top marks to us! Mrs D to Be and Mr P started off in top form with an almost telepathic knowledge of what the other was describing but then Mrs Dobber and Mrs Fridge streaked ahead to a stunning victory putting the rest of us to a complete shame! Still, Andre Eiffel did not design he Eiffel Tower.

We could not be bothered on Sunday so 3 bags of bottles had to be taken by Mr Fridge to the bottle bank on Monday evening while as Mrs Fridge went off to her Pregnancy Yoga class. What a noise it must be to live near a bottle bank, especially on Sundays and Mondays. Still, recycling is important - no excuse other than laziness not to do so. In our street we have recycling bins but there are a substantial number of lazy swines who cannot be bothered to split out their rubbish and take the extra 3 steps to the right to put their 'Sun' and 'Daily Record' newspapers (ha, if only they were) and other clearly difficult reading material into the paper recycling bin, or they must not have the mental ability to cross a not busy street to put their cardboard or plastics or tins or cans in the other recycling bin! I used to be against but now support fining people for not sorting their recycling properly. If we cannot take responsibilty for our environemnt then we must be forced to do so by legislation and financially hurting those too lazy and irresponsible to do so. We all live here and I do not want Ice Cube to grow up and inhert an even bigger mess of our environment then we have created already.

Rant over and time for bed!

Oh - Top quote from the weekend : "I did do quite a bit of shopping when we were there, didn't we?" (Sorry, Mrs Dobber).

Friday, May 23, 2008

What Cosmo CowGril has been asking for!!!

Hello Reader!

At last we have scanned in the ultrasound scans from a few weeks ago and here we go! This is the best one of Ice Cube!

Cat : that's a leg.

Monday, May 19, 2008

Cravings Extra!

Hello Again Reader,

Mrs Fridge's 'craving' has now grown and expanded to include three major food groups. From the picture below, you can see the already known 'Pineapple' group with the addition of food group, 'Mars Bars'. The third I am afraid is not visible as they have already been well eaten! The third food group is that of 'Pork Pies'.

See Mrs Fridge lurking in the background, waiting, watching: Hoping I will turn away, turn my back, with her eyes fixed like those of a lioness stalking its prey moving through the long grass, ready to pounce on the unaware prey!
In the interests of balance and fairness, there are other snack foods available. Furthermore, in the interests of safety, I make sure that the Mars bars are working properly and sample the occasional one, just to help out Mrs Fridge.

Mrs Fridge Growth Chart Update

Hello Reader,

Today finds us with a new picture of Mrs Fridge, who still wishes not to have her face on the interweb, so her lovely smiley face remains hidden. Oh well.

Ice Cube continues to grow and we can see her/him move through the skin now much more often. I wonder what is going through Ice Cube's developing little brain and (ahem) body when those body parts are pushed on Mrs Fridge's tummy?

I actually missed the last visit she had to the midwife and neither of us could think why I needed to be there (especially if there are needles). When Mrs Fridge returned she told me that there was a reason I wanted to be there and that was to hear the heartbeat! Missed it! DOH! Oh well, I'll get to the next one. First time we heard it it reminded me sooooo much of the Guinness advert (the one with white horses) and then realised that that is were it came from in the first place. I will have to wet the head of Ice Cube, when he/she is born, with a Guinness.

The Anonymous Mrs Fridgeand hidden ICe Cube

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Ice Cube Visibly Moves!

Hello Reader!

Mr Fridge has more exciting news! Ice Cube has been continuing to grow well and keep Mrs Fridge awake or distract her at work with kicking and moving but now it is so much that we can now start to see movements through her tummy skin! It is just simply the (as yet) amazing thing to see! You should be further impressed as, even though it was in my head, I managed not to mention the film ‘Alien’.

Best Man Bonk and I went to an old haunt in Edinburgh last night, The Roseburn bar, to watch some Russian Team beat Glasgow Rangers FC in the EUFA (something like that) cup final. Better team won. Shame with the little bit of trouble in town, but if you hoard 10,000+ visiting fans into an outdoor area in the sun all day, feed them booze then just before the games kicks of the big screen telly breaks! I would be frustrated and angry but still no excuse for a small minority of nut job fans who went on the rampage. Still, it’s what the London based media focused on despite the build up being more or less ignored on the National News.

Best Man Bonk was most upset, him being a closet Blue Nose and all, and I thought he was moved to tears at one point. To be fair that could have been a reaction to his betting on the game. (If Mrs Bonk is reading this then it is a joke and he did not bet on the game! He did cry though.)

Mr Fridge visited a hospital today to have a mole on the side of his neck looked at as I keep cutting it when I am shaving and it takes ages to stop bleeding and to heal. Still after a short wait, in which I read loads of my book, I was seen by a tall Doctor with no hair and a less-than-white white coat. He examined me at about 100 miles per hour then said it was fine and no need to take it off. I reminded him that it was not for any changes of colours then he informed me that the NHS would not take it off and I should go private for cosmetic surgery. Why would my GP refer me the hospital then? Hmmm. Maybe a second opinion required.

Monday, May 12, 2008

NEWS ALERT! (About a week ago)

Hello Reader!

I greet you with exciting and ground breaking news! On Saturday, when Mr Fridge was venturing out to hunt and gather (not forage) at Edinburgh Farmer's Market, Mrs Fridge put together a list of desirable items and animals parts to spear, trap and purchase. Among them was a vegetable that has not been hunted for some time! Yes! Mrs Fridge is back on Potatoes! In fact, just the night before, while Mr And Mrs Fridge had been enjoying Mrs Fridge's parents hospitality before they went of on their French caravan adventure, Mr Fridge had observed and commented on Mrs Fridge enjoying her mother's cooking and POTATOES. I feel like I have been reunited with an old friend, an often dull and bland friend to be fair, but a well textured one.

Same day was Mr Fridge Dad's birthday! I will not reveal his years, although I will say that a calculator and a bit of paper is required. Mr Fridge Dad travelled through (very kind of him as the less Mrs Fridge and Ice Cube travel at the moment the better for them and also for my peace of mind). We enjoyed tea and Mr Fridge dad drank warm water with milk (what a waste of a tea bag, really!), had some birthday chocolate cake roll thing, showed him latest scan picture, which he did not cry too, then off to an Italian restaurant for dinner. Food was nice and we told Mr Fridge Dad of names for Ice Cubes depending on gender: again, we were surprised he did not cry. The restaurant was quiet so we had quick service which I think can take away from the dining experience: I like no rush, relaxation and sometimes slow service so you can enjoy your drinks and let conversations find their own directions and paths. Still we took our time and had a good time.

Mrs Fridge will soon be back from Pregnancy Yoga so I have to make the tea!

More posts soon and also scan pictures will included!

Apologies from Mr Fridge!

Hello Reader!

Apologies for being away and not even being on holiday! Okay, I was on holiday for one day, but nonetheless Mr Fridge has no excuses: he was busy with Mrs Fridge, Property Empire and work.

Mr Fridge will cover the last few weeks over the next few posts.

So, a week ago Friday Mr Fridge was late for work as he was being a safe driver. On the road to work, Mr Fridge drove through a village and at the other side was reduced to about 2mph for a couple of miles! I know you should not use your mobile phone while driving, but I was going so slowly - I would have walked faster - I took the negligible risk of taking a picture of the cause.

The driver was between 70 and 80. You can see he has no helmet (illegal), no licence plate (illegal) and was incredibly nervous(legal). I decided not to try to overtake until he pulled off as I am sure other drivers may not have given him as much care or space in rush hour or in there selfish 4x4s or Chelsey Tractors. If you look closely you will see his tyres are not far from bald. I hope he has decided not to do that again in rush hour traffic or got himself nicked!

Thursday, May 1, 2008

Thursday Update! Yawn Spread Across The Atlantic!

Hello Reader!
CowGirl in the USofA read about the yawn and while she was doing so . . .yawned herself!!!!! That means the yawn has crossed the Atlantic and spread to over there! All that from a sleepy Agatha Christie Fan Fi in the office. How cool is that!? I now hope it can spread farther afield!

Property Empire viewing drags along : No visitors on Sunday there nor tonight but we had a special viewing by an interested party last night, so had to rush down after playing, and losing at, football. Had to point out that my hair was not gelled back but I was not long out a shower. Hope he believed me.

Ice Cube seems not to have grown too much this week, but he/she as been moving about in Mrs Fridge's freezer box. See her latest enormity below! Again, even cooler that the yawn by a distance greater than across the Atlantic.

Tuesday, April 29, 2008

International Yawn!

Good Evening Reader!

Mr Fridge transmitted a yawn internationally today!!! I was talking to Agatha Christie fan Fi on the phone, when she yawned a huge one! I instantly picked it up and yawned too. Right after that call Mrs D from Dublin called and I accidentally yawned again and then Mrs D from Dublin yawned before I had finished mine! A truly international yawn transmitted across the central belt and the Irish Sea!

Well done to Agatha Christie fan Fi, Mrs D from Dublin and Mr Fridge!

On Ice Cube side, Mrs Fridge's migraine has subsided at last and I managed to feel a tiny kick again last night! That is the third in total and still feels like the first.

Monday, April 28, 2008

Good Idea Guru Mr Fridge Then Terrible Mr Fridge!

Mr Fridge is sometimes amazed by his own sublime genius! He has been occasionally been sensitive to drinking weekend beer in front of Mrs Fridge, who due to expanding Ice Cube, obviously can not enjoy a weekend beer and it was making me feel guilty. So when I took my weekly guilt ridden trip to the offies, last Friday to buy some bottles of Beck’s, I had the ingenious inspiration to buy Mrs Fridge 6 bottles of alcohol free beer! Mrs Fridge can take her usual 4 hours of her 275ml and I can rattle through mine! (Mrs Fridge bumped into a male work friend, on Saturday, who, rightly, commented that this was genius. I had a guilt free beer weekend, which is always good when drinking.

Mr Fridge also gave Mrs Fridge a bit of a fright on Saturday night/Sunday morning! At 02.30am Mr Fridge was dreaming that we had moved into a new house in the country and had awoke to go down to water the plants (no euphemism here, I really was dreaming that I was going down the stairs to water the plants). I noted the linoleum on the stairs and thought I would need to get that removed and a carpet put down. I watered the plants and returned to the hall where there were 4 people in blue boiler suits emptying the place of its contents!!!! The man and woman were carrying my old TV up the stairs! (I dunno) As I ran to intercept (brave hero, I know) I shouted to Lesley up the stairs to, “Call the police! Call the Police!” Apparently I felt so strongly that I woke myself up with my shouting the same words and I was frightening the hell out of Mrs Fridge!!! Poor thing, I had to calm her worried calls and tell her I was shouting to help her and it was my dream. Her wee heart was pounding away!

Mrs Fridge made a lovely Omelet this evening.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Mr Dart and mutual blog referrals!

Good Early Morning Reader,

Mr Fridge has dropped Mrs Fridge at the airport so that she can have a day's jolly to Manchester and so she had to catch a very early flight, so I drove her there and came into work so try and catch up on a few things. Mr Crazy Dart was in and sent me early morning greetings from mainland Europe. Here is his blog.


Please enjoy, but always remember to read this first!


Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Exciting and Moving News!!!

Good Evening Reader!!

Last night we sat on the sofa with mugs of tea and watched 'The Big Fat Hairy Bikers Chefs' on BBC2 and Mrs Fridge commented the Ice Cube was moving about a bit and she could feel the 'butterflies' as Ice Cube moved around within her. I had my hand on her tummy to see if I could feel anything but had no luck for that duration even though we are a few weeks early for that. So I just left my hand at the bottom of her tummy, where Mrs Fridge was reporting the seismic activity. Nothing happened for ages as I sipped my tea then I felt the slightest but firmest of wee kicks! I felt Ice Cube for the first time! I am sooooooooo happy! Mrs Fridge is the lucky one to feel that all the time!, although I am sure that in the coming months when Ice Cube grows bigger and decides to push against her bladder she will feel different and I will know about it.

Mrs Fridge also made a top Chille Con Carne with nachos, guacamole, tomato salsa and Cheddar cheese grated on top!

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Superhero Fridge Saves Mrs Fridge from HUGE Fall!

Hello Reader!

I am relieved to tell of my, quite frankly, superhero super-fast reactions on Sunday night! Mrs Fridge went to bed a few hours earlier than me, as she is prone to do with Ice Cube growing on a daily basis. I watched TV for a while came to bed and read for a while. Mrs Fridge was in the middle of the bed (again) and I asked her to move over just a bit. She obliged and I read on in comfort. Soon I tired and with the light off quickly fell into sleep. I awoke with a start, in reaction to what a vaguely remember as a Mrs Fridge noise, and before I was fully awake I had moved across the bed with lightning speed, caught and held Mrs Fridge in my arms mid way through her fall out the bed! It’s a short fall (no bunk beds here!) but a fall is a fall!

Mrs Fridge was so shaken and surprised that she immediately went back to sleep.

On analysis, it is clear sign that Mrs Fridge hogs the middle of the bed to such an extent that when moved over a little, she took her default location as the middle of the bed and thusly fell out!

Mr Fridge is also considering buying some side rail bars for the bed or installing a gentle slide on the side of the bed which will run her down onto another lower bed, if she decides to roll over and out again. The alternative is to lay a trampoline parallel to the bed so that if she falls out then she will simply bounce back into bed and not notice a thing.

Friday, April 18, 2008

New Reader in Southern Hemisphere!!!

Hello Friday Night Reader,

Exciting post script!

Mrs Fridge is on the phone to her Northern Irish friend in New Zealand Mrs Stinky Ella! A great big, 'How are you?' to you and Mr Pirate!

EXCLUSIVE! Mrs Fridge has craving!

It’s official Reader! Mrs Fridge has a craving. While I was typing away about the pineapple in the fridge last night she had already scoffed it! As an emergency measure today when she got home from her work, and we had a quick bite to eat at the local Italian, I had to cut up and dice the pineapple I bought her as a joke! There was a lot (it was a big pineapple) and she had eaten a big lasagne, but she has scoffed most of the pineapple! Never mind big baby, never mind her giving birth to a horse! She is having a giant pineapple! (Ladies don’t think about that one too much . . . you know . . . . the pain of birthing a pineapple).

On a personal note, today was pre-Saturday, what with it being a day off work for me, and I am happy that I still have Saturday normal to come, with all but the hunting and gathering to complete tomorrow morning I have a free day!

Here is how Mrs Fridge looks just now with her ice cube/horse/pineapple.

Thursday, April 17, 2008

Thurday is Friday Today

Good Evening Reader!

You find me writing this from the Property Empire at the Thursday open viewing. Today we had another couple, following on from the 3 on Sunday, so hopefully one of them will want to buy it. They asked about what was under the laminate flooring. I made my best guess of 'rolls of foamy stuff' and that seemed to placate them. I was further cheered up as Lydia insisted that I drop by the offies on the way home and pick up some Friday beer. (Today is Friday as I have Friday off work therefore Thursday was Friday for me today.)

Today at work I managed to inadvertently upset 2 of my US of A work colleagues by answering their question about how many days holiday we get a year. I told them and they were frankly shocked! I work out as having twice as many as one of them. They are a few years (actually, quite a few) older than me and I think they are upset. I suppose that having the same languages leads us to often fail to remember we have 2 separate countries, 2 different political systems and legal systems. They make Star Trek and we do Doctor Who.

On a non-political note – Mrs Fridge has finally grown into a cardigan that we once thought was ridiculously big. She has no more sore heads and I think she is leaning towards a craving. Just a few days ago she got through a family packet of crisps in minutes, not that was any different from normal behaviour; it was more to do with what she shoved down her throat immediately after that. Mrs Fridge hungrily devoured a family pack of pre-cut pineapple. I was not even offered any! When she finished she breathed in. Mr Fridge noted that she came home yesterday with some more but has yet to eat it. Hmmm. Watch this space.

Other great news: Mr and Mrs POD, who live on the Inner Hebrides, are expecting baby Number 2 in October. Congratulations to them! December is truly a good and busy month!

Monday, April 14, 2008

Monday's Can be Great!

Hello and Happy Monday Reader!

Mr Fridge had a long night and had a massive 3 hours sleep Saturday night/Sunday morning. A relaxing day followed with the in-laws who kindly helped Mrs Fridge host the Sunday viewing of our Property Empire and then I met them in town to have more food at 'The Dogs'. I had stew.

Apparently I made up for the lack of sleep last night and was snoring so LOUD that I woke Mrs Fridge twice and the vibrations vibrated her across the bed. Sorry Mrs Fridge. On the plus side I awoke fresh and awake so that worked out well in the end.

Mrs Fridge continues to grow and I am now convinced that we are having a horse and not a human child. It is taking it out of her and she is currently having a post shower snooze on the ice tray in the bedroom.

Mr Fridge wonders if Brother Fridge and Nearly Sister-in-law Nice Austrian Lady (sorry Dad, no news : it's just what we call her) have the link now so I hope they are reading. Hello!!! CosmoCowGirl, stop reading this and get back to work in your USofA office! Also got a mail from a Karate friend who signs himself as, 'Bark' - crazy Italian-Scottish non-dancing man!

Saturday, April 12, 2008

Saturday Night Work Blues

Hello Readers and Welcome from a very Professional Mr Fridge.

Mr Fridge is in his place of work this evening and long into the night. I am here with a couple of engineers and he is supervising them putting lots of nice new things on our systems. It will be a long night so I thought I would take some time to update what is happening in Fridgeland.

Well, Property Empire went onto the market earlier this week and I was at the flat to host the open viewing. During that time I got a new high score on my phone's Tetris game and read several chapter of the book I am reading ('Lords of the Bow' by Conn Iggulden. Mrs Fridge got it for me for my birthday recently). Yes! We had no viewers what so ever. Not to worry, it was just on the market and Rangers FC were playing, and winning, their big European Football game in Portugal. I am sure that tomorrow will bring many many viewers, despite the slowdown in the market. I still wedged open the door and checked the front entry phone door bell/buzzer was working.

Mrs Fridge continues to do well and we got good test results back today indicating so. We went to look at prams and pushchairs today and then we had a nice meal at a new place called 'Dogs'. The food is served on non-matching plates with designs that all our Grannies had at some point. Mrs Fridge is still off certain foods, like fish, potatoes, haggis and the like. She eats healthily but she rejected the nice green salad with beetroot and opted for other food.

"I still can’t stand the smell of fish." She informed me.

Mrs Fridge ordered up the same dish as me : Fish, chips and mushy peas.

Is it me?

Other news, I navigated Mr Fridge's Dad onto this Blog earlier on, over the phone. I hope he enjoys it and that the writing is big enough for him to read.

Back to work for me now. I know, I can read the Reader's mind : I am such a brave soldier!

Tuesday, April 8, 2008

Property Empire for Sale

Hello Reader.

Property Empire went onto the market this afternoon and the editor of espc.co.uk had let a few basic errors on the inital text of the advert slip through and posted them. A cracking example was, 'spacious sittingroom open to well desirable and fitted kitchen' should have read 'well designed'. Mind you if you are a young person using a young person's vernacular then it is well cool and there ain't nufking wrong with it. Well wicked, inint!

The other wonderful error was in the first draft of the schedule which had read 'fully carpeted' when all the pictures clearly show the laminate floor through out. That is . . . unlesss . . . someone has laid a carpet in the flat without our permission! We will need to go to Property Empire just to check!!

Clearly Mrs Fridge and I are well delighted with the level of care taken by the espc.co.uk company : looks like we are paying for an old fashioned c'ut and paste' job. Oh well, as long as it sells!

For those interested, here is our Property Empire

Feel free to buy - highest bidder wins! :o)

Monday, April 7, 2008

Mrs Fridge and Ice Cube Update

Hello again Reader.

Two posts in one day! Impressive I know.

Mr Fridge had another reader this week - it was his Aunt Sister. Welcome Aunt Sister! (Aunt Sister Is Mr Fridge's Dad's Sister, which I just described for my benefit as much as yours). I hope you continue to enjoy despite my previous posts vivid dream. Keep well.

Mrs Fridge continues to grow and Ice Cube is a fast grower. We are on week 17 and Ice Cube is the size of a hand now and Mrs Fridge can feel him/her starting to move little bits. "It feels a little like tickling" is the description, but despite a hand on her tummy and a careful ear to it too I can not feel the movement or hear anything yet. She's a lucky thing to feel that.

Anyway, I have attached a picture of Mrs Fridge in disguise as a normal everyday lady and then with disguise raised to show the extent of Ice Cube's weight training.

Mrs Fridge in disguise and then Ice Cube revealed!

The Exciting Dream World of Mr Fridge

Hello Reader!

Been a busy time for Mr and Mrs Fridge this weekend! Mr Fridge hunted and gathered then cleaned their headquarters of the property empire. After that he did some very industrious re siliconing (white and transparent) of the shower room before settling down for the new series of Doctor Who in the evening ready for the ever growing Mrs Fridge's return home after a visit to her parents and her pregnant Other Mrs Fridge (same first names - very confusing at times). In fact I was so tired on Saturday night that I was in bed before midnight . . .and before Mrs Fridge – my younger self would have been so embarrassed!

Sunday was an early rise to clean the property empire before putting it on the market (should be on tomorrow so will check the advert and post link!) and more hunting and gathering! We got back in time for me to watch the F1 Grand Prix from Bahrain and for us to enjoy the second half of Dundee Utd against Rangers - with an intermission for a good fry up brunch-brinner (opened to time of day interpretation).

Mr Fridge woke this morning after having a highly amusing dream. I dreamt that I in a dining room with stacked with books on shelves round three walls, the fourth wall having the only door in. Out of bordem, I was trying to learn telekinesis : to move objects by the power of thought alone! To my immense surprise I found that I could make the light that hung from the centre of the room, and over the dining table, sway ever so slightly and even that took considerable effort and energy. A man came into the room and I demonstrated my new skill and managed to make the light sway even more – his scepticism disappeared instantly and with some added shock as I had also managed to make all the books move out from their shelves. I became more skilled and it took less practice to control, direct and become more precise in my new talent. I did not feel powerful or superior but more mischievous. (Anyway – stop the rambling here as real danger of self indulgence here and boring the Reader). The funny thing of the dream was that that I used my skill to make people do huge loud farts! All the women wore large Victorian style skirts and the men loose coats : as I thought on each person the resultant noisy expulsion of gas made their skirt bellow out or men jackets lift up! The ‘victims’ did not seem too alarmed but seemed confused as to what could have caused such forceful bottom burps.

It was very funny.

Thursday, April 3, 2008

Hello Reader.

Yesterday was Robert's Funeral and it was good to know that he touched so many people in a positive way and hundreds of people turned up to pay respects to and share our memories of him. The Young L Lady and I drank cocktails in is honour later in the day in a posh bar he once took her to in Glasgow.

While we were sending Robert off Mrs Fridge was seeing the midwife to check on Ice Cube's progress. Mother and child are doing well and it looks like we have a large child in her womb. Again, a strong healthy heart beat and a healthy mother.

While we are sending off and celebrating one life that has been, my wife carries the spark of new life that will be within her. If our little one can shine with a fraction of the brightness and radiance of life as Robert's then we will be contented parents.

Roert Foulkes

16 April 1984 to 26 March 2008

Monday, March 31, 2008

Mr Fridge Weekend

Hello Reader.

Mr Fridge has had a busy old weekend! Shopping at Farmer's market for all the best, local and fresh products, then home and off to Paisley to meet old school friends to watch Rangers play Celtic in the pub to help decide the top of the league then off to watch Gretna play St Mirren at love street in what was probably one of the most dully boring game of football, no, any sport, I have ever seen. Some might say, 'a nervous a game' but not me. I would say a boring game, despite St Mirren’s 2-0 victory (Hooray). There may have been an element of the pre-match Guiness having an over calming effect. Must say that I missed the first goal as Cat and I were checking the time to see how much time was left in the first half. Went for a quick drink before heading back on the train to meet Mr Bob and L to go for a Chinese and some beer. Poor Mrs Fridge had one small micro glass of champagne to celebrate us being due. I had to help out and take her share of the rest.

Sunday - flat had to have the windows opened as the spicy Chinese meal with taosing (sp) beer really showed that I have a healthy digestive system . . . 'nuff said. Then we cleaned out our property empire ready for a hopefully quick sale - anybody want to buy a flat?

Just before tea time : got a cold call from Unicorn Wireless trying to sell me a mobile phone contract : it did not help that he called me McGrath. I think that Mike (are there many people called Mike in the Philippines?) got a surprise when I told him that I am registered TPS (Telephone Preference Service) and since he had given me the company name and number that they were now h=going to have a complaint filed against the company and a £1500 fine could be imposed per phone call. He got upset and told me that, “1, the company was too big to complain against and, 2, if I did I would die.” It is clearly a different part of the world that Mike lives in. Mike hung up on me after he asked me what ‘an arsehole’ was. Who am I but one to tell him the truth?

Mrs Fridge just arrived home so I am off to cater to the mother of my child’s needs.

POST SCRIPT : Mrs Dobber called to wish us well on my success with early fatherhood. Hello Mrs Dobber! I gave you the address for this so I hope you have read it! Mrs Dobber is a lovely lady and wife of Mr Dobber. WARNING : Never play card or board games with Mrs Dobber unless you have other people present in the room to act as witnesses.